Shackleford Hurtmore's Hypersupreme Consiousness'

William Roper: So, now you give the Devil the benefit of law!
Sir Thomas More: Yes! What would you do? Cut a great road through the law to get after the Devil?
William Roper: Yes, I’d cut down every law in England to do that!
Sir Thomas More: Oh? And when the last law was down, and the Devil turned ‘round on you, where would you hide, Roper, the laws all being flat? This country is planted thick with laws, from coast to coast, Man’s laws, not God’s! And if you cut them down, and you’re just the man to do it, do you really think you could stand upright in the winds that would blow then? Yes, I’d give the Devil benefit of law, for my own safety’s sake!

* FORKS - “During my long-past student days I made many trips to my friend Jon’s house due to a) his Amiga and b) his access to superior smoking supplies. Every time I went around I would sneak into his kitchen to steal a fork, leaving a knife I had smuggled in from my own cutlery drawer. I often ate with him and his housemates. Over time the start of every meal was preceded by an increasingly irate search for forks. With his fork supply down to one old battered fork he wondered, “Where do they all go?” followed by “at least we have lots of knives.” I was able to sympathise. I was going through a similar experience, only with knives.” (cupeye)

He woke up Windows XP from sleep mode and deftly defeated twelve notifications to update Norton AntiVirus. With a resounding click he opened Internet Explorer 6 and gazed deep into its depths, past the Yahoo toolbar, the MSN toolbar, the Ask.com toolbar, and the AOL toolbar. And then did he see, at long last, that The Google did load.

Weaker men would have lost their minds in the madness: telephone cords plugged into Ethernet jacks, AC adapters plugged into phone jacks, a lone VGA cable wrapped in a firm knot around an Ethernet cord. But the warrior bested the thicket, ripping away the vestigial cords and swiftly untangling the deadly trap.

This lecture was unique, dramatic, paradigm-shifting, and unexpected. It is difficult to imagine that a similar scenario could ever take place again. Professor Brindley belongs in the pantheon of famous British eccentrics who have made spectacular contributions to science. The story of his lecture deserves a place in the urological history books.

These kind of euphemisms are also common in Japanese, where the reply maemuki ni kento sasete itadakimasu—I will examine it in a forward-looking manner—means something on the lines of “This idea is so stupid that I am cross you are even asking me and will certainly ignore it.

North Korean golfing legend (and oppressive dictator) Kim Jong Il passed away over the weekend. […] Back in 1994, the man set a record that is likely to stand forever. Playing his first round of golf on a regulation, PGA-style, 18-hole course, Kim Jong Il scored 11 holes-in-one while he carded a stunning 38 UNDER par. […] Sadly, the golfing world outside of North Korea has yet to accept this round of golf as legitimate.

intimidating, like someone saying “At some point in the next couple of weeks, you’re going to have to run a marathon. I’m not going to tell you when, though, I’m just going to walk up to you with a starters pistol, shoot it, and then you have to start running