“And the point of great writers like [Oscar] Wilde is that they make that invitation to you; they welcome you”. - Stephen Fry
And, lo and behold, Domino’s now have a double bacon cheeseburger pizza on their menu. This is, of course, stupid. If you want a cheeseburger, buy a cheeseburger. If you want a pizza, buy a pizza. If you want both, then you ought to sit down and have a good think about where you’re going in life.
I learned some years ago that what is commonly called a mid-life crisis would be better termed a personal ongoing emergency. In my case it never reached any sort of “crisis”; it just kept getting worse.
[When Kurt Vonnegut tells his wife he’s going out to buy an envelope] Oh, she says, well, you’re not a poor man. You know, why don’t you go online and buy a hundred envelopes and put them in the closet? And so I pretend not to hear her. And go out to get an envelope because I’m going to have a hell of a good time in the process of buying an envelope. I meet a lot of people. And, see some great looking babies. And a fire engine goes by. And I give them the thumbs up. And ask a woman what kind of dog that is. And, I don’t know. The moral of the story is, we’re here on Earth to fart around. And, of course, the computers will do us out of that. And, with the computer people don’t realize, or they don’t care, is we’re dancing animals. You know, we love to move around. And, we’re not supposed to dance at all anymore.
As far as I’m concerned, anything released after 2002 is part of an ever-growing “shop music” genre encompassing everything from timid rock to airbrushed R&B, all of it destined to transcend its shopfloor origins and become the backing track for a Great Essex Poach-Off contestant’s biographical VT package between now and Christmas.
I am sorry. I know that might be difficult for you to believe, particularly given the press conference I gave yesterday about how I’m not at all sorry and you’re all a bunch of wankers. I did not mean it. It was satire. If there are any of you who are still angry about that, then it’s simply because you don’t understand satire, and there’s nothing I can do to help you.
"Mostly […] ‘celebrity academics’ have stopped thinking by the time they get famous. They hit on a big idea. Then they make TV programmes about it. The producers ask them to cut out all the waffly bits and sharpen the lines. Complexity and ambiguity are lost. They start to believe their own reviews and get suspicious of alternative or newer approaches. They certainly get fed up with the ‘ordinary’ academic’s cycle of writing, submitting to peer-review, rewriting and re-submitting. What do these people have to say to a Celebrity Academic? […] the Celebrity Academic (and quite a lot of high-flying non-celebrity academics) rarely trouble themselves with undergraduate lectures, tutorials, and marking."
"Why not watch a video at a time of your choosing from the comfort of your own home? I’ve gone on about this rather a lot in the past, but nobody’s listened so I’ll say it again. A video lecture is a very useful resource. You can play it and replay it and stop it to make notes and extract a good deal of wisdom from it. But what you can’t do is put up your hand to ask a question, or make a point, or disagree. The online video implies that you have no role other than to accept what’s put in front of you. This is particularly true of the Celebrity Academic Video, which is more like an MTV pop promo than an educational event. Here is a Star, it says. Worship it and a few flakes of star-dust might fall about your shoulders."
I rise today to begin to filibuster John Brennan’s nomination for the C.I.A.," Paul began, according to the Times. "I will speak until I can no longer speak. I will speak as long as it takes, until the alarm is sounded from coast to coast that our Constitution is important, that your rights to trial by jury are precious, that no American should be killed by a drone on American soil without first being charged with a crime, without first being found to be guilty by a court.
See, I could almost agree with the cantankerous old fart, if it wasn’t only Americanson American soil he cared about.
I saw an advertisement yesterday wherein they offered discounted sushi for only $ 5.00 for all you can eat for lunch. I was briefly tempted but then I thought: is this really the place where I want to economize?
I suppose being a council employee doesn’t help matters either. Whenever I see bridges falling, helicopters tumbling from the sky, trains derailing, bombs going off and cars being turned over into shop-fronts, I cannot muster sympathy for either the goodies or the baddies in the film, because I am too preoccupied with concern for the city’s poor council and insurance workers who have to sort all the damage and inevitable compensation claims out.
I won’t say Life of Pi (first 45 minutes) is the worst movie I have ever seen. But that’s only because I have also seen Les Miserables, Titanic, The English Patient, and I love You Phillip Morris. There’s a lot of competition for the worst movie of all time.
The success that George Osborne and the Daily Mail have had in scapegoating the long-term unemployed rests on a widespread failure to recognise – which is also to say mainstream commentators’ failure to insist – that the cost of the benefits paid to the ‘shirkers’, the people ‘with the curtains drawn all day’, is peanuts compared to the amount the government is prepared to spend, by way of the very same benefits, propping up business.
You know when you’re really full, but your meal is just so delicious, you can’t stop eating it? The Georgians feel your pain. This word means, “I accidentally ate the whole thing.”
The researchers discovered that this natural tomato gene, when it works properly, produces those green shoulders on tomatoes. The darker green color comes from the chlorophyll in plant structures called chloroplasts, which is what converts sunlight into sugars for the plant. In fact, those dark green shoulders were making those old tomatoes sweeter and creating more flavor. The uniform-ripening mutation disabled this gene.